muse

I remember the first time I heard about you.

‘Hey did you see the local station has hired a new meteorologist? He’s really cute!’

‘Meteorologist… cute? Just as long as he’s telling me how good the offshores are I don’t care what he looks like.’

I grew up in a small costal town where the only thing that changed was the size of the population during the summer season. It was great that everyone wanted to come see how beautiful my home was but it also meant that I had share the ocean.

I struggle with this because overall I think it’s wonderful that people want to enjoy the earth mother’s essence, but there’s something about the solitude and connection you feel with her when you catch that wave and for a brief moment in time you become her muse. There’s something definitely unique about that experience that you just want to keep all to yourself.

contradiction

I was hoping I might see you at the airport. I was hoping you would want to see me off. Like you’d be waiting with a bouquet of flowers and just as I’m looking for where to check in for my flight, our eyes meet.

I was hoping it could mean that we’ve both overcome our fears and have finally transcended what limits us. As though the moment our eyes met everything else around our locked gaze would crumble in surrender and our spirits would billow around each other with tenderness and laughter, like they always do.

I even looked back over my shoulder, just in case.

I then proceeded through security and with a heartbroken sigh I continued past the partition.

‘This is it. I’m leaving you. Again’.

You’re letting me leave you this time. And I’m letting you let me leave you. Because that’s what we’re supposed to do. Amidst all this longing and suffering, we know this is what we have to do.This should make our hearts complete.This will eventually make our hearts complete.

What a fucking contradiction.